Saturday, June 19, 2010

closing the door.

i want to be very 'real' with this blog. 
everyday real.
95% of the time my life seems too good to be true.
today i feel like i'm in that other 5% place.
it's not necesarily a bad place to be.
hear me out.

saturday i closed a huge door of my life.
i left abilene,
drove to fort worth to meet andy as he got off the plane
 and together we have started our new life in fort worth.
don't get me wrong.
i am SO excited.
i really am.
but i also feel some sadness in my soul.
i am sad to leave abilene,
not because of the fantastic shopping or fine dining (insert sarcasam) but because this town is all that i know.
it makes me sad to think that i won't walk into any given restaurant or store in town and know someone
 or at least recognize them.
it's the familiar things that i will miss.
i am sad to leave my family.
i am saddest to leave my parents and christopher.
i know i am not really 'leaving' them.
i know that i will see them all of the time but it will be different now.
we'll have to visit each other.
no more random meet up for dinners on any given week night.
no more just running over to my parents' house real quick to drop something off or grab something from my mom's closet.
no more meeting my mom at stokes, or jordan taylor, or it's about time to just look around.
no more regular sunday lunch after church.
these are all of the things i am sad to leave behind.
the things that have made up my life for the past twenty-six years.
my normal everyday always involved them.
so i am sad to leave.
i am sad that when june is born they will be two and a half hours away.
i am sad that my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins won't be able to rush up to the hospital the moment she is here.
i am sad that i won't be able to run over to my parents house with her at a moment's notice.

i know this is pretty dramatic.
 things could be much worse and families do this sort of thing all the time but it's just so new to me.
in time i will completely adjust to this new life and i'm sure i will laugh my head off at this post.
 but it's an adjustment
and it's a huge transition.
 i know the Lord has prepared me for it.
and i know it's going to be just fine.

i'm excited that andy is going to buy me a house big enough for my parents and christopher to visit all of the time. . . like every weekend.
i'm excited that when they do visit they get to stay in our house and we get to be together all day and all night.
i'm excited to find our new little home and make it just that, our home.
i'm so excited for andy and his new job, he's going to do so great!
i'm excited about lunch dates and playdates and shopping with my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws.
i am so excited that june is going to grow up with all of her cousins, just like i did.
i really am excited about this new adventure.
the new friends and old friends and all of the new babies!
the wonderful shopping!
the wonderful food!
and just the reveal of the Lord and all his goodness and love.
it really is exciting!
our prayer is that we continue to feel such peace and assurance from the Lord.
we know that He has called us to this change and we are so grateful that He loves us so much to already have everything in place. 
even though right now it feels so crazy to us.
we are praying that transitions are smooth
 and easy
 and that sooner than later this little adjustment will feel so familiar
 and not new at all.
thanks for joining us,
 praying for us
 and loving us through this new adventure.

"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
romans 8:28


  1. Jessica! I know just how you feel, I've lived in my hometown for 22 years and LOVE IT for a lot of the same reasons you love Abilene. Where we live is part of what I love most about my life.. and in 5 weeks we're moving. Not far.. like an hour and a half away.. but still, just like you said, no more spur of the moment "let's get together family!" moments. Thanks for this post, and especially the second half - it's encouraged me to see how good a lot of mine and my husbands, Kell, moving will be too!

    How exciting for you and Andy to be expecting little June! Congratulations! :) And prayers that you will in fact "laugh your head off" at this blog post one day!!

  2. By the way.. I think you probably remember me.. but if not! We were not bunk buddies.. but were bunk neighbors at TWL a couple years ago! :) My name was Anna Rilea then, but I'm married now and found your blog through Facebook a while back when you posted it!

  3. Just read this for the first time and cried! Your heart is as beautiful as you are. Thanks for sharing it. You are so dear to us...the way you love my brother is so sweet. I am so thankful that on this journey of life, you two are together.

    Love you so.